Opening Statements

I don't have any friends on this blog. So far so good. It seems, (and I hate to be this way), that when I do make a blog and friends read it, they assume the negative words with in are about them specifically.

While that may be true it is also not my intention to hurt anyones feelings with my very clear set opinions. However, I do like good arguments on friendly terms. I love to see both sides of the argument, I like to be able to debate and understand that sometimes my views aren't necessarily correct or the only one.

I love youtube, I love finding youtube talents. I suppose in some ways I wish I was brave enough to just film myself singing or playing an instrument, but in truth I am one of those many many "Patron saints of mediocrity" that will always be decent at most things but never GOOD at any one thing in particular.

Lastly, I am not necessarily religious though I do believe in a good moral code and strong ethics. I just want people to understand that I am not any one thing in life. I study many things and love to hear other opinions than my own. My one true steadfast thing that I am trying to do, is lose weight. Which hasn't happened no matter how much I try.

I went on my first diet in fourth grade. My mother put me on it, my father told me big girls should stop tucking in their shirts because it made them look bigger. If this wasn't enough it was about then that kids at school began to take notice of my chubbiness. So.. I did what I thought would be fun, I started Basketball. I lost weight, was feeling great, had friends from practice, and then... I asked dad if I should try out again the following year.

" You're too fat and slow.. " was the simple statement of fact.

So I quit.

Quitting has been a part of my life ever since then. I start a job... and I quit, I take piano and I quit. I was in music for 7 years in highschool, and quit. The only thing I haven't quit doing is dreaming of the day when this weight will go away and I can finally say.. " THERE! No excuses. You don't look silly in those work uniforms, no one is laughing at you just because of the way you walk. So stand tall and be the brave person you always knew you could be!"

I've lost four pounds. Let's just see if I can keep it up.

This was a pretty negative post.. but perhaps eventually I'll lose that negativity with everything else I am trying to shed!!